LOUIE CREW

Fairy Tale

Though he charged Herb
   $75 per week for 8 years
just so Herb could supinely
   watch him wave it,
the doctor's wand
   would not work

"We will not talk
   about love for men,"
the doctor spelled:
   "tell me about your father.
Isn't he distant and austere?"

Still no vaginas wiggled
   no breasts released
into Herb's fantasies.
   Even when Herb agreed
to stop wasting his sperm,
   to lower his pitch,
to take up bowling,
   and to subscribe to Playboy,
the charm produced
   only a dream about a Maypole
straddled by a laughing clown
   trying to detonate
a bowling bomb
   glued to the top
with lavender streamers.

The doctor's wand itself
   sprouted weeds.
Herb grew cadaverously lean
   with glazed eyes,
and could not leave the ward
   even for his father's funeral.

"Finally," Herb said,
   "in that most unlikely place
for joy, I realized
   the doctor was never going
to reach me,
   that he couldn't even see me.
Somehow -- I know not how,
   I knew that I was
beyond his ken,
   that only I
could make my own discovery."

With his own wand aglitter
   spilling light
into his dark sockets,
   Lazarus is alive
and well in Middle America.

In Gay Hong Kong

Oops. I just erased the proof:
   you told my answering machine
that tomorrow you will
   unbind your feet on tv.

No matter how quietly you speak
   millions will think you,
   their first, SCREAM!

All others defer to Her Majesty,
   silently trust Her
   to commute
   the death sentence
   if Her Peepers espy them.

Some other child,
   who thought himself
   the only one,
will twist his gauze,
will touch the screen
   to reassure himself
that no one will mistake you two.

Who now will believe that you
spoke to my machine gently,
   that no celli swelled,
   that you did not flutter,
   but breathed?

Sour Grapes for Queen Lutibelle

Don't think
I want to be
a queen
the kind
Lady Di
wants to be,

wouldn't want
every bloke
licking the back
of my picture,

I don't jiggle
next to just
anyone's 
balls.

I prefer
to choose
those that
lick,
scratch
or fondle
me.

About Louie Crew

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